Chatroom Conversations

Below is a short conversation that I had in September 2000 on MSN Chat, with some American teenager in pm mode. She PMed me, after I had said on the main screen that lesbians ruled the Earth. I believe she thought I was a lesbian. Is it me, or does she seem a tad thick? (Note: This was the first and last time I ever went on MSN Chat).

chocolate_kisses20001: your fucken nasty
Roderick_the_banana: why?
chocolate_kisses20001: thats nasty
chocolate_kisses20001: lesbain rule earth
chocolate_kisses20001: no they don't
chocolate_kisses20001: are you a lesbain
Roderick_the_banana: why nasty?
Roderick_the_banana: that is biologically impossible
Roderick_the_banana: what is a lesbain?
chocolate_kisses20001: thats nasty two girls together god didn't make us to like other girls duh
Roderick_the_banana: I am a male, I'd be Rodericka_the_banana if wasn't
chocolate_kisses20001: lesbain is two girls having sex and likeing each other
Roderick_the_banana: I am not a girl
chocolate_kisses20001: i know
chocolate_kisses20001: but thats what a lesbain is
Roderick_the_banana: Oh, I see, LESBIAN (sarcastictally)
chocolate_kisses20001: what!
chocolate_kisses20001: i'm not a lesbain!
Roderick_the_banana: I know, LESBAINS don't exist to my knowledge
chocolate_kisses20001: What do u mean of course lesbains exist
Roderick_the_banana: a/s/l ?
chocolate_kisses20001: check out my profile

pause, as I do so

chocolate_kisses20001: ok just check out my profile
Roderick_the_banana: your profile is weird
chocolate_kisses20001: no it's not you are
Roderick_the_banana: u
chocolate_kisses20001: just fuck you
Roderick_the_banana: in your profile u say that u r always a nice person - what a load of crap.
chocolate_kisses20001: yeah i am always a nice person but not right now
chocolate_kisses20001: i'm pissed at someone in here
chocolate_kisses20001: ok
chocolate_kisses20001: now go away
Roderick_the_banana: u say ur nice, but that clashes with the quote of 'fuck u' that u put in your profile, somewhat - and u missed out the word 'off' when u said pissed at
chocolate_kisses20001: just leave me alone before i put you on ignore
Roderick_the_banana: u pmed me - or had u forgotten?
chocolate_kisses20001: fuck you
Roderick_the_banana: and learn to spell
chocolate_kisses20001: asshole
chocolate_kisses20001: find have it your way your on ignore bye have fun
Roderick_the_banana: press f4 and alt together to view my message to u
chocolate_kisses20001 has left the conversation.

and then there was one....

Below is a Spring 2001 convo with Nikki from the This website's greatest fans Article. She has since stopped talking to me, perhaps because I put this convo on the site.

SwEeT aNd InNoCeNt NiKkI says: dont come here with ur sarcastic comments plz
Mark says: not sarcastic
SwEeT aNd InNoCeNt NiKkI says: well what the fuck do u call them
Mark says: genuine
SwEeT aNd InNoCeNt NiKkI says: fuck u
Mark says: I'd rather be raped by the hunchback of Notre dame
SwEeT aNd InNoCeNt NiKkI says: whats that meant to mean
SwEeT aNd InNoCeNt NiKkI says: theres somthing wrong with u
Mark says: doh!!!!!
SwEeT aNd InNoCeNt NiKkI says: get help b4 u halm urself
Mark says: get spelling lessons
SwEeT aNd InNoCeNt NiKkI says: get a life
Mark says: get a better job
SwEeT aNd InNoCeNt NiKkI says: lol dont tell me things i already no
Mark says: ok, I won't
Mark says: 2+2=4
Mark says: 1+1=2
SwEeT aNd InNoCeNt NiKkI says: good boy
Mark says: yes
SwEeT aNd InNoCeNt NiKkI says: i daint realise what a twat u was
SwEeT aNd InNoCeNt NiKkI says: till now
Mark says: I didn't realise how illiterate u were
Mark says: till now
SwEeT aNd InNoCeNt NiKkI says: wow thanx
Mark says: what do u mean?
SwEeT aNd InNoCeNt NiKkI says: just saying thanx 4 being nice to me
Mark says: *cough*hypocrite*cough*
SwEeT aNd InNoCeNt NiKkI says: that aint nice is it
Mark says: hypocrite?
SwEeT aNd InNoCeNt NiKkI says: yes
Mark says: u don't know what it means
Mark says: or u wouldn't take it as an insult
Mark says: but, u r a hypocrite
SwEeT aNd InNoCeNt NiKkI says: y am i
Mark says: SwEeT aNd InNoCeNt NiKkI says: just saying thanx 4 being nice to me
Mark says: that, I believe, was sarcastic
Mark says: hence, u r saying I was mean to u
Mark says: yet, if u look, you'll find that each insult I gave u, followed one u gave me
Mark says: hence, u r a hypocrite
SwEeT aNd InNoCeNt NiKkI says: lol
Mark says: yeah, it's hilarious
SwEeT aNd InNoCeNt NiKkI says: i nol
SwEeT aNd InNoCeNt NiKkI says: no
Mark says: z z z z z z
SwEeT aNd InNoCeNt NiKkI says: stop it now mark
Mark says: morning!
SwEeT aNd InNoCeNt NiKkI says: fuck u
Mark says: once again, I would rather be raped by the hunchback of Notre Dame
SwEeT aNd InNoCeNt NiKkI says: well how about this
SwEeT aNd InNoCeNt NiKkI says: FUCK OFF
Mark says: from where?
Mark says: leave the house?
SwEeT aNd InNoCeNt NiKkI says: leave me alone
Mark says: u pmed me!!!!!
Mark says: anyway, I am not doing anything other than typing messages, so don't over-react, u over-reactive thingy
Mark says: Christ, anyone would think I was attacking u
SwEeT aNd InNoCeNt NiKkI says: im glad u aint
Mark says: obviously, who wants to be attacked? Mark says: unless u were assuming I meant sexually, you dirty thing - lol
SwEeT aNd InNoCeNt NiKkI says: erm no thanx ive got a b,f to do that
Mark says: he attacks u?
SwEeT aNd InNoCeNt NiKkI says: yes sexually
Mark says: so, u don't say yes to sex, he rapes u?
SwEeT aNd InNoCeNt NiKkI says: no
Mark says: then it isn't attacking
Mark says: honestly, making false allegations
SwEeT aNd InNoCeNt NiKkI says: i warnt u idiot
Mark says: warnt?
Mark says: *gets out dictionary*
Mark says: can't find that word
Mark says: there is a similar word
Mark says: "warned"
Mark says: but, no "warnt"
SwEeT aNd InNoCeNt NiKkI says: well its in mine
Mark says: oh, u WANT me?
Mark says: u put in an "r" by mistake
Mark says: man, I never knew u cared
Mark says: I don't?
SwEeT aNd InNoCeNt NiKkI says: like i want u woteva get a life
Mark says: I have one, I go out
Mark says: anyway, u did want me not long ago, so be careful what u say
SwEeT aNd InNoCeNt NiKkI says: y should i be careful
Mark says: who knows?
Mark says: all sorts of dangers lurk......
Mark says: remember, keep your eyes wide open, and your ears peeled back
SwEeT aNd InNoCeNt NiKkI says: why
SwEeT aNd InNoCeNt NiKkI says: what u gonna do
Mark says: who knows.........
Mark says: I is unpredictable
Mark says: *plays eerie music*
Mark says: *gets phonebook out*
Mark says: *Martin.....*
Mark says: *gets map out*
Mark says: I love u
SwEeT aNd InNoCeNt NiKkI says: k
Mark says: not as much as website viewers will love this convo
SwEeT aNd InNoCeNt NiKkI says: nah my boyfriend will love it more
Mark says: and...
Mark says: what happens when he sees it?
SwEeT aNd InNoCeNt NiKkI says: wait and see
Mark says: u bullshitter
Mark says: u don't know my address
Mark says: man, some ppl are so stupid
SwEeT aNd InNoCeNt NiKkI says: my chaps names jamie do u wanna talk to him

Jamie has been added to the conversation.

Mark says: no, I could have more intelligent convo with an orang-utang
Mark says: does he speak?
Jamie says: so your the bloke whos been giveing me girlfriend a load of lip
Mark says: yes, I am, what u gunna do?
Jamie says: k, well thats all i need to know
Mark says: no
Mark says: u need to know how to spell, too
Jamie says: well I'm dislecsic
Mark says: dislecsic?
Jamie says: I have lurning problems
Mark says: well, good luck in finding me
Mark says: p.s. your girlfriend used to fancy me
Jamie says: luck has nothing to do with it
SwEeT aNd InNoCeNt NiKkI says: you fucking lier
Mark says: i can send you the convos we've had if you like....

Mattolo says: gavin

Mattolo says: fuck off you little runt

Gav has left the conversation.

Mattolo says: if i wanted you on my contact list

Mattolo says: wanker

Mattolo says: i hope his parents die.

Mark says: hmmm

Gav has been added to the conversation.

Michael says: seems like a nice chap, this mattolo

Mattolo says: blow me

Mattolo says: you pink fonted twat

Michael says: if i could i would

Michael says: blow u, i mean

Michael says: and it's purple u illiterate bastard

Mattolo says: actually

Mattolo says: it's pink

Michael says: as if

Mattolo says: and i challenge you to find a spelling mistake

Michael says: i challenge u to get an eye test

Gav has left the conversation.

Mattolo says: i challenge you to understand the concept of wit

Gav has been added to the conversation.

Michael says: i challenge u to say all this to my face

Mattolo says: i challenge your mom to understand the concept of abortion

Gav says: keep me outta this!

Gav has left the conversation.

Mattolo says: christ, your name is mickey hooper... like i wouldnt have the balls to say it to your face

Segeta says: I could have you guys

Segeta says: Mat Michael is the guy

Mattolo says: what guy?

Michael says: at least i have balls to put my real name in

Segeta says: that me you and mark spoke with ages ago

Mattolo says: my real name is Mat Chadwick

Michael says: good

Mattolo says: that hardly takes guts

Michael says: pleasantries out of the way

Michael says: what's your point?

Mattolo says: it is? the sociology guy?

Mattolo says: hah. cool. he's as bad at arguing as mark is.

Michael says: not used to spending my life in front of a computer monitor

Mattolo says: that's a shame

Mattolo says: y'see, i was conceived in PC World

Mattolo says: and ever since then I just havan't been able to get enough

Mattolo says: but then

Mattolo says: not all of us have parents who can afford to have kids conceived within the confines of a test tube.

Mattolo says: *sighs*

Michael says: anyway, fun though that was....

Mark says: yeah

Michael says: to think i have this guy's picture

Mattolo says: it's not easy being a pin-up.

Michael says: dartboards have to sell somehow

Mark says: lol

Mattolo says: ahh

Mattolo says: you took my advice and read up on "wit"?

Mattolo says: that's cool

Mattolo says: now, maybe if you can make a comment that wasn't first heard during the 18th century

Mattolo says: i could clap for you too

Mattolo has left the conversation.

Michael says: Is he usually like this?

Mark says: No, he can actually be a real git at times

This convo was with someone I don't know, on AIM Chat, spring 2001.

ShastaMcNasty777: I am bi-sexual because I have sex with men and women

ShastaMcNasty777: is it that hard to understand??

uksmartass: yes, as u just said u were a lesbian

ShastaMcNasty777: A lesbian MOST of the time

ShastaMcNasty777: what do you care?

uksmartass: that doesn't make sense, your sexuality can't change

ShastaMcNasty777: you probably havent had sex yet

uksmartass: u cannot be a part-time lesbian, it's a full-time occupation

ShastaMcNasty777: Are you a women??

uksmartass: only on weekends

ShastaMcNasty777: Do you know what me go through?

uksmartass: women?

ShastaMcNasty777: I didnt think so

uksmartass: u saying all women are part-time lesbians?

ShastaMcNasty777: yes

uksmartass: they aren't

ShastaMcNasty777: one minute naked with me and they will be

ShastaMcNasty777: Women can do things to other women that men can only dream about doing

uksmartass: such as...?

uksmartass: they are unarmed, for a start

ShastaMcNasty777: if you spent 24 hours a day with a piece of equipment you would know everything about it

ShastaMcNasty777: I bet you could probably wank off another men really well

uksmartass: another men?

ShastaMcNasty777: yes you....other men

ShastaMcNasty777: that whole gay thing

uksmartass: I'm not gay...

ShastaMcNasty777: not yet.....but if u had a dick in your arse maybe you would change your mind

uksmartass: fuck off

uksmartass: lol

ShastaMcNasty777: do you want a pic of me showing men what I can do?

uksmartass: ok

ShastaMcNasty777: I need an email address and a pic from you

ShastaMcNasty777: either of you or a naked girlfriend........

ShastaMcNasty777: get excitied if you know what I mean

uksmartass: why do u need a pic of me?

ShastaMcNasty777: or a girlfriend

ShastaMcNasty777: its a fair exchange

ShastaMcNasty777: isnt it?

ShastaMcNasty777: just give me an email address

ShastaMcNasty777: and I will send you a pic of me

ShastaMcNasty777: and you can send a pic as a trade

uksmartass: politically_incorrect_smartass@hotmail.com

ShastaMcNasty777: okay do you have a pic?

ShastaMcNasty777: to trade

uksmartass: ok

ShastaMcNasty777: do you have it??

uksmartass: a pic of a girl

ShastaMcNasty777: send your pic

uksmartass: of a girlfriend?

ShastaMcNasty777: or you

uksmartass: I could send a pic of a girlfriend

ShastaMcNasty777: ok

ShastaMcNasty777: are they naked?

ShastaMcNasty777: I have sent you a pic

uksmartass: thanx, I will look

ShastaMcNasty777: Have you sent the pic yet

uksmartass: no..blimey, is that u?

ShastaMcNasty777: yep me and micky

ShastaMcNasty777: good isnt

ShastaMcNasty777: *isnt it?

uksmartass: I am truly lost for words

ShastaMcNasty777: I had fun that day.......

uksmartass: I take it u weren't a lesbian, that day?

ShastaMcNasty777: well have you send the pic of your girlfriend yet?

ShastaMcNasty777: I'm getting excited!!

uksmartass: coming up

ShastaMcNasty777: cumming up don't you mean!

uksmartass: ROFL!!!

This convo was on AIM Chat, and involved people who I ( thankfully ) don't know.

heavenlycrystal: is anyone gonna tell heavenly what a bloody limey is?

uksmartass: a Brit

heavenlycrystal: oh,

heavenlycrystal: im not a brit anyway.

uksmartass: where u from?

heavenlycrystal: kiwiland ass!

chaba36 has entered the room.

heavenlycrystal: new zealand

heavenlycrystal: so your a limey then?

uksmartass: yes

uksmartass: I am

heavenlycrystal: How unfortunate.

chaba36: bet your arse

heavenlycrystal: he he.

uksmartass: hmm

chaba36: do you own a sheep heavenly?

heavenlycrystal: how rude

heavenlycrystal: but i do actually.

chaba36: don't mind me

uksmartass: Wales and New Zealand are so alike

chaba36: just playing

heavenlycrystal: bollocks they are

heavenlycrystal: take that back!

uksmartass: no

chaba36: kia ora heavenly

uksmartass: anyway, what u got against New Zealanders?

uksmartass: I mean, Welsh

sexyboy12b: oi smart ass

chaba36: kiwi is my favorite fruit

uksmartass: yeah

heavenlycrystal: when is a pixie not a pixie?

sexyboy12b: dunno

heavenlycrystal: when he's up a fairies skirt, then he's a goblin

chaba36 has left the room.

MODMALE19 has left the room.

heavenlycrystal: and no one like my joke.

uksmartass: haha

sexyboy12b: i did

heavenlycrystal: that just sucks.

heavenlycrystal: well i couldn't hear ye laughing.

heavenlycrystal: at the moment im doing this quiz thing

heavenlycrystal: to see what kind of dog i will be.

uksmartass: hmmm

uksmartass: things that bad?

heavenlycrystal: fuck away

uksmartass: fuck away?

heavenlycrystal: (_x_)

uksmartass: hmmmmm

heavenlycrystal: its a big arse though

heavenlycrystal: when i step back i go BEEP BEEP

uksmartass: :-)

uksmartass: lol

JIM354U has entered the room.

JIM354U has left the room.

uksmartass: he lasted long

heavenlycrystal: that's wot his ex said

uksmartass: lol

heavenlycrystal: im u PUG

heavenlycrystal: how cute.

uksmartass: lovely

heavenlycrystal: that's wot kinda dog i is by the way.

heavenlycrystal: in case u thought heavenly was crazy.

uksmartass: never ...

BigJamesCT has entered the room.

BigJamesCT has left the room.

uksmartass: James is back

uksmartass: oh, no he's not

uksmartass: heavenly, how old r u?

heavenlycrystal: 23

uksmartass: oh

heavenlycrystal: oh? that is rude

uksmartass: lol, y

heavenlycrystal: you ask a question and then someone answers and you say OH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

uksmartass: albeit for the 50 odd exclamation marks... my parents obviously raised me wrong

uksmartass: blame them

heavenlycrystal: you are probably not someone i am going to enjoy talking to.

heavenlycrystal: see ya.

uksmartass: fuck off

uksmartass: you're still here

gigascream5: uk try n be nice yea

heavenlycrystal: im not leaving coz of your dumb arse. if you are so desperate to be rid of me, you fuck off.

uksmartass: I suggest u read, if u can't remember what u put

gigascream5: heavenly i dont think that was called for lets just be calm yea

uksmartass: heavenly, I believe it is u that is desperate to be rid of me

heavenlycrystal: im sure your mum will take away your computer privillages if your not in bed soon. scoot.

uksmartass: at least I'm not immature for my age

uksmartass: and I'm sure your dad will take away your virginity, if you ARE in bed, soon

gigascream5: no offence guys but your both acting pretty immature

uksmartass: but I'm only a kid, apparently, so it's ok for me to act immature

gigascream5: a/s/l uk

uksmartass: 18/m/Birmingham

gigascream5: your an adult uk try and act that way yea

uksmartass: what about her

uksmartass: she's 23

gigascream5: when she starts soeaking again ill tell her too

uksmartass: interrupt your cyber-sex session, and tell her now. Scream it out

gigascream5: hang on

uksmartass: anyway, y r u so bothered?

uksmartass: heavenly and sexyboy would go well together

gigascream5: cos i jus wanna make sure evryones havin fun not arguin

gigascream5: i mean beanie left cos u were arguin

uksmartass: bollox, she left ages ago

gigascream5: i imagine others did aswell

uksmartass: and this is the only argument I've had

uksmartass: might it be the time, that caused ppl to leave

uksmartass: to go to sleep, as it is 4.30 am

uksmartass: anyway, this room is shit, and 50% of its population are retarded

heavenlycrystal: i bet you're gay.

heavenlycrystal: have you come out of the closet yet?

uksmartass: oooh, u r naughty

uksmartass: yeah, I'm gay, and I take your dad up the ass

uksmartass: sexyboy has had a go, too

heavenlycrystal: my father is dead.

gigascream5: uk that wasnt called for

sexyboy12b: fuck u smartass

uksmartass: her birth wasn't called for

heavenlycrystal: he died three weeks ago from a heart attack so thanks very fucken much bringing it up.

uksmartass: *scratches chin*

sexyboy12b: oi cunt suck ur mums black balls

uksmartass: black balls?

gigascream5: uk i would appreciate it if u left

sexyboy12b: yeah iv seen them

uksmartass: giga, if u r so hellbent in restoring peace, may I suggest u target the right ppl, instead of blaming it all on me

uksmartass: fuckwit

uksmartass: get a fucking life

gigascream5: ok uk i been a goodboy till now

uksmartass: and?

gigascream5: u just pissed me off

heavenlycrystal: bye giga

uksmartass: so? Can't help it if the truth hurts

gigascream5: bye heavenly see ya soon

uksmartass: something strange here

sexyboy12b has left the room.

gigascream5: errrrr no

gigascream5: well yea your face

gigascream5: but lets not go there hey

heavenlycrystal: lol

heavenlycrystal: gig!

gigascream5: infact lets not go anywhere near u we might die from the .bo

gigascream5: BO

heavenlycrystal: lmao,

uksmartass: chortle, chortle, illiterate humour at its best!

uksmartass: keep fake-laughing long enough, heavenly, and u might even find it funny!

gigascream5: sorry

heavenlycrystal: ha ha ha ha ha.

uksmartass: illiterate retards

gigascream5: um actually it is spelt bo

heavenlycrystal: coming from Birmingham, are you surprised Giga?

uksmartass: heavenly, u don't know Birmingham

uksmartass: u r from New Zealand

uksmartass: fuckwit

gigascream5: no but im sure your mom knows half of the men there uk

uksmartass: yeah, her and Heavenly's mum share them out

heavenlycrystal: im from england you dumb arse cunt.

uksmartass: which part?

heavenlycrystal: after you called me a fuckwit,

heavenlycrystal: i aint telling you.

uksmartass: liar, you took the piss out of Limeys

uksmartass: bollox u r from England

uksmartass: New Zealand u r from

heavenlycrystal: lived in illford for three years

heavenlycrystal: before i moved over

uksmartass: which county?

uksmartass: go on giga, tell her where to say she lives, in pm

gigascream5: uksmartass why r u called smart ass cos your not all that smart really and well so that only leaves the ass now we all know u like ass u like raping ass sucking ass and fucking ass but haha and thats a big BUTT we wont u 2 go

DREDKEN has entered the room.

uksmartass: "your not all that smart"

uksmartass: the irony that surrounds that statement.....

uksmartass: man, u two won't understand y!

uksmartass: gig, a/s/l

gigascream5: why u wanna know

uksmartass: so I can laugh

uksmartass: probably about 35

heavenlycrystal: hiya dred

DREDKEN: mornin

uksmartass: dredken, they're morons

uksmartass: u could have more interesting convo with a couple of chimps

DREDKEN: by who's reckoning though

gigascream5: yea dredken we're morons we're gonna eat u lol run away run away actually nah jus tell uk too fuck off will ya

heavenlycrystal: i bet your a virgin.

uksmartass: your mum obviously didn't tell u then...

heavenlycrystal: all that pent up testosterone, no where to escape.

gigascream5: i bet u suck your moms cock

DREDKEN: I see....intelligent chat eh?

uksmartass: women don't have cocks

gigascream5: your a wanker

uksmartass: yeah, it's so much fun! I know, for your next birthday, I'll buy u a magnifying glass and a pair of tweezers, so u can do it too

heavenlycrystal: your more mid way in the closet arent you

uksmartass: press f4 and alt together to see my pic

heavenlycrystal has left the room.

gigascream5 has left the room.

uksmartass: well DREDKEN, my son, the room's population has halved...and its intelligence levels have....doubled!

DREDKEN: lol. And then there were two

uksmartass: they weren't that bad, u gotta feel sorry for them.

DREDKEN: I'm off, bye

These convos were on MSN Messenger. In these conversations, I am posing as Rebecca, under a different e-mail address. Dave is also featured in the People that suck Article

Rebecca says: hey

dave 2001 says: hiya hun

Rebecca says: how r u?

dave 2001 says: fine thanx

dave 2001 says: u

Rebecca says: I am ok.

dave 2001 says: kool

Rebecca says: so, what is your a/s/l

Rebecca says: I forgot

dave 2001 says: 17/m/leeds

dave 2001 says: u

Rebecca says: 18/f/Midlands

dave 2001 says: oops

dave 2001 says: soz hun

Rebecca says: about what?

dave 2001 says: im onli 17

Rebecca says: that's ok

dave 2001 says: do u mind chattin 2 me hun??

Rebecca says: course not, u already seem really cute

Rebecca says: my last boyfriend was 16, yet he was more mature than most fully grown men

dave 2001 says: oh

dave 2001 says: lol

Rebecca says: so, what do u do in life?

dave 2001 says: work and college

dave 2001 says: u

Rebecca says: I left college, I am on a gap year. What do u study?

dave 2001 says: computing

Rebecca says: Gnvq?

dave 2001 says: do u have a bf at the mo sweetie

dave 2001 says: yeah sumthin like that

Rebecca says: no, not at all. Wouldn't mind one. I need a nice man inside me

dave 2001 says: lol

Rebecca says: u got a pic, I will get a pic soon?

Rebecca says: I can send u it soon. I'll wear a really short skirt...

dave 2001 says: na i aint soz hun

Rebecca says: so, u single?

dave 2001 says: yep

Rebecca says: what do u do for fun?

dave 2001 says: wouldnt u like 2 know

Rebecca says: lol

dave 2001 says: lol

Rebecca says: I like to go clubbing and drink, do u?

dave 2001 says: chill wid mates get smashed play footy

Rebecca says: I am 5'4, dark, nice body and size 12. What do u look like?

dave 2001 says: bleached blonde hair blue eyes 5,7ish slightly tanned medium build both ears pierced

Rebecca says: sounds really nice, and what about ur cock?

dave 2001 says: u 2 hun

dave 2001 says: it's big and easily aroused

Rebecca says: so, I have to go for a short time, do u fancy a chat when I get back?

dave 2001 says: yeah sure hun

dave 2001 says: wen will u b back

Rebecca says: ok, bye for now - about half an hour -look fwd to it, bye xxxxxxxxxx

dave 2001 says: k

dave 2001 says: lataz babe xxxxxxxx

Next Convo

Rebecca says: hi

dave 2001 says: hiya hun xxxx missed u

Rebecca says: so, what do u look for in a woman?

dave 2001 says: nice personality

dave 2001 says: sum1 who i kan trust

Rebecca says: that's good. I am getting my pic taken tomorrow...u want to see it when I do?

dave 2001 says: yeah that wud b kool babe

Rebecca says: so, can u drive?

dave 2001 says: nope

dave 2001 says: u

Rebecca says: learning

dave 2001 says: kool

dave 2001 says: wot u look 4 in a guy

Rebecca says: unselfish, romantic, loving....looks don't matter

Rebecca says: it's what's inside that counts, though an 8 inch cock is nice

dave 2001 says: yeah thats wot i think aswell hun and i have an 8-incher

Rebecca says: I mean, I have been out with plenty of hunks, but I would probably go out with a geek if he was nice enough

Rebecca says: if he made me feel good

dave 2001 says: lol

dave 2001 says: kool

Rebecca says: are u on here much?

dave 2001 says: yeah

dave 2001 says: i work durin da week

dave 2001 says: but im on afta 7 00 on an evenin

Rebecca says: I sometimes stay here long into the night

dave 2001 says: i stayed on till 4am this mornin

Rebecca says: lol, I've done that a lot, my record is 7.30 am

dave 2001 says: jesus woz i tired in work

dave 2001 says: lol

Rebecca says: lol

dave 2001 says: but thats onli coz me mom wuz away 4 da weekend

Rebecca says: u seem quite mature, I like mature guys. The ones at my school were soooo immature, but u seem different

dave 2001 says: thanx hun

Rebecca says: I am thinking of building me a website soon. You will love it

dave 2001 says: kool

Rebecca says: I want to get a scanner so I can put piccies of me up

dave 2001 says: kool

Rebecca says: lol, r u going on holiday this year?

dave 2001 says: dunno yet

dave 2001 says: probably

dave 2001 says: u

Rebecca says: yes, Spain

dave 2001 says: kool

Rebecca says: I will have to stay slim to look good in my bikini

dave 2001 says: kool

dave 2001 says: u got a mob hun

Rebecca says: no, I am getting one soon, then u can send me lovely texts

dave 2001 says: kool

Rebecca says: u could ring me then as well

dave 2001 says: kool

Rebecca says: some guys say that I have a real cute voice. It makes men go all funny. A guy does exactly what I tell him to when I speak in a sexy voice. Not to boast, or anything

dave 2001 says: kool

dave 2001 says: u giv ure number out 2 a lot ov pple then

dave 2001 says: lol

Rebecca says: lol, not normally over the net, but I might do if I got to know them and I thought I could trust them, and if they deserve to hear the beautiful sound that is my voice

dave 2001 says: kool

Rebecca says: just going to the toilet, back in 5. I'll think of u as I crap - hehe

dave 2001 says: k hun xxxxxxxxxxx

Rebecca says: hey, back. I have to go, but I might be back later

Rebecca says: I am off out now

dave 2001 says: i dont want u to go

Rebecca says: awwww babes, I feel guilty now

dave 2001 says: no u dont

Rebecca says: I do

Rebecca says: how about if I try to get back in good time?

dave 2001 says: yes

dave 2001 says: do

dave 2001 says: bye xxxxxxxxx

This is an MSN Messenger convo. This guy, believe it or not, is for real, and believed everything I said. He's Ian, as featured in the People that suck page.

Yanne says: u got a virbrator?

Mark says: no

Yanne says: wanna by one?

Mark says: a vibrating what

Mark says: dildo?

Yanne says: wanna buy one?

Mark says: a dildo?

Yanne says: virbrating vagina.

Mark says: how much u selling it for, anyway?

Yanne says: £60

Mark says: u got it from your dad?

Yanne says: yes

Yanne says: u intrestyed

Mark says: I haven't got much money

Yanne says: i tell you what give me a shag and its yours.

Mark says: u for real?

Yanne says: yes

Yanne says: all yours for a quickie

Yanne says: its brand new

Mark says: I don't live near u

Yanne says: where you live?

Mark says: Birmingham

Yanne says: so get the train

Yanne says: your gonna get a virbrator out of it!

Mark says: things really need to be organised

Yanne says: how do you mean?

Mark says: can't rush into things - or onto

Yanne says: u want this pussy vibrator or not.

Mark says: I'd have it for free or a very small price

Yanne says: all you have to do is fuck me

Mark says: wouldn't u rather fuck someone else

Yanne says: nope u!

Yanne says: I want your arse.

Mark says: wouldn't another guy's arse do? What's so good about mine?!

Yanne says: ok... who you got in mind?

Mark says: anyone

Mark says: loads of ppl

Mark says: a lot of people on Yahoo would say yes, failing that, try Catholic priests

Yanne says: so you dont want it then... too bad!

Mark says: what, sex?

Yanne says: virbrator \ sex

Mark says: I'm sure I could use the vibrator - if it'd sell

Yanne says: and not my cock!?

Mark says: not really

Mark says: I prefer pussy - not wanting to sound dirty, hohoho

Yanne says: Dont mock till you have tried

Mark says: I don't want to try

Mark says: I am heterosexual

Yanne says: SO AM I

Mark says: errrrrr, a heterosexual , male cock-sucker?!

Yanne says: I just like the odd cock

Mark says: I think u r bi-sexual

Yanne says: like girls more.

Mark says: me too. Why don't u concentrate on them

Yanne says: u know any phonesex\ prostitutes?

Mark says: not as friends

Yanne says: If I pay you wanna have a 3-some with one?

Mark says: I'll take her from the front?

Yanne says: yes....

Mark says: u taking her from behind?

Yanne says: yes

Mark says: ok

Yanne says: when?

Mark says: summertime

Yanne says: Where?

Mark says: my house

Yanne says: what about parents?

Mark says: no, they can fuck each other

Yanne says: Will they be home?

Mark says: depends when we do it

Yanne says: would they mind you shagging a women with another man in their house?

Mark says: no

Yanne says: they would let you have sex there with them home?

Mark says: yes

Yanne says: how come?

Mark says: they were of the Sixties generation

Yanne says: would they let you shag me?

Mark says: no

Yanne says: y

Mark says: they must be religious...

Yanne says: why has gay sex come up b4?

Mark says: only in the old testament

Yanne says: you would love a cock up you!

Yanne says: r u a virgin?

Mark says: not yet

Yanne says: what? what you mean not yet?

Mark says: I'm not ready for all that virginity lark

Mark says: I'll become a virgin when I am good and ready!

Yanne says: Excuse me you are a virgin until you have sex for the 1st time then u loose your vaginity

Mark says: sounds painful

Yanne says: its coo

Yanne says: u wanna loose it now?

Mark says: my vagina?

Mark says: I need it!!!

Mark says: lose it now?

Mark says: how?

Yanne says: u smoke

Mark says: no

Yanne says: how big r u?

Mark says: height?

Yanne says: cock size.

Mark says: off the ruler *winks*

Yanne says: u ever seen a girl naked?

Mark says: oh yes

Yanne says: where?

Yanne says: where and how did you see her?

Mark says: sesame street

Mark says: no

Mark says: in her bedroom

Mark says: with my eyes

Yanne says: completly naked... she see you?

Mark says: no, she didn't

Yanne says: why did she take her clothes off?

Mark says: she didn't

Yanne says: you said she was naked

Mark says: her boyfriend did

Yanne says: what the fuck

Yanne says: u ever touched a girl?

Mark says: yes, but she was a bit deflated - only joking, yes

Yanne says: where?

Mark says: in her bedroom

Yanne says: what you tocuh?

Mark says: her hair

Yanne says: get lost you idiot

Mark says: her PUBIC hair

Yanne says: her vagina?

Mark says: yes!!!

Mark says: wouldn't be her cock

Yanne says: u finger her? how old was you both

Mark says: 18, 53

Yanne says: Who was it

Mark says: My gf's mum!!!

Yanne says: Did she touch your cock

Mark says: Yeah, wanked on my behalf - I'd gotten repetitive strain injury

Yanne says: Did you cum

Mark says: I cummed

Mark says: Then I went

The below conversation was on MSN Messenger. It includes me ( What are the scores, Bubble? ), my mate Michael from the This website's greatest fans Article, and an Indian guy. He was somehow under the impression that we were both girls.

What are the scores, Bubble? says: meet my friend

jasvinder says: who

What are the scores, Bubble? says: Michelle

Superted says: hi

jasvinder says: who is this

What are the scores, Bubble? says: my friend, Michelle

Superted says: me

jasvinder says: who are u

What are the scores, Bubble? says: 19/f/England

jasvinder says: so

Superted says: so am i

jasvinder says: so what ami suppose to do

What are the scores, Bubble? says: talk

What are the scores, Bubble? says: to her

jasvinder says: why

jasvinder says: u dont want to talk

What are the scores, Bubble? says: but u do

jasvinder says: listen i am dam busy are u joking with me

What are the scores, Bubble? says: why r u on MSN, then?

What are the scores, Bubble? says: no, I am "dam" serious

jasvinder says: coz u people out there are in a passion of disturbing me

What are the scores, Bubble? says: then don't come on msn

What are the scores, Bubble? says: duh! A passion!? Oh, Jasvinder! Please let me disturb you! *drools*

jasvinder says: hey iam sorry i told u that my freind has died its not long

What are the scores, Bubble? says: it is ok

jasvinder says: by the way i have to leave if ur freind really wants to talk to me ask her tomail me at baaz_jst@hotmail.com

What are the scores, Bubble? says: superted, will u e-mail him at baaz_jst@hotmail.com?

Superted says: just you try and stop me

jasvinder says: by the way who ever u are iam sorry but i promise that i will talk to u properly

Superted says: That's ok

jasvinder says: whom am i gonna stop and from what

What are the scores, Bubble? says: it's always nice to make amends

jasvinder says: whats going on

jasvinder says: by the way i have to leave now can i have her email to whom i was chatting

Superted says: its at the top of the screen

What are the scores, Bubble? says: no! It isn't. Ignore that one, that's for show. It's crossercrosser@hotmail.com

jasvinder says: i have urs but i didnt ahd ur friend sid

jasvinder says: illmail usoon

What are the scores, Bubble? says: crossercrosser@hotmail.com

Superted says: mine is crossercrosser@hotmail.com

What are the scores, Bubble? says: e-mail her there

What are the scores, Bubble? says: and add her to msn, later on

What are the scores, Bubble? says: not today

jasvinder says: why

What are the scores, Bubble? says: ok

What are the scores, Bubble? says: today

What are the scores, Bubble? says: now

What are the scores, Bubble? says: do it

jasvinder says: do u have picture of urs on net

What are the scores, Bubble? says: I will send it

jasvinder says: she is there

jasvinder says: when

What are the scores, Bubble? says: shall I send u her pic?

jasvinder says: ok

jasvinder says: but first urs

jasvinder says: by the way it was nice talking to u

jasvinder says: who ever u are

Superted says: and yo

jasvinder says: and now iam going

What are the scores, Bubble? says: ok, bye

jasvinder says: muaaaahhhhhhhhhh

jasvinder says: love u see u soon

Superted says: sorry?

jasvinder says: why u sorry

jasvinder says: hello i have toleave

jasvinder says: are u there

What are the scores, Bubble? says: yes

What are the scores, Bubble? says: bye

Superted says: ok

jasvinder says: bye

jasvinder says: muaaaaaaahhhhhhh

Superted says: yes

jasvinder says: what

Superted says: xxxx

Superted says: xxxxxx

jasvinder says: what

What are the scores, Bubble? says: :)

What are the scores, Bubble? says: :)

jasvinder says: ah come on i have to go be specific

Superted says: xxxxx

jasvinder says: sahlli go

What are the scores, Bubble? says: utpo u

What are the scores, Bubble? says: free country

jasvinder says: if uare no clae

What are the scores, Bubble? says: well, ours is

jasvinder says: bye

What are the scores, Bubble? says: bye, see u soon

jasvinder says: bye

Superted says: bye

What are the scores, Bubble? says: bonjour

jasvinder says: bonjour

Superted says: ca va

jasvinder says: i know a bit french

jasvinder says: et vous

jasvinder says: merci

Superted says: oui

What are the scores, Bubble? says: croak

jasvinder has left the conversation.

What are the scores, Bubble? says: ribbit

Superted says: lol

What are the scores, Bubble? says: damn. His French is worse than mine, if that could happen. And he's a bit forward

What are the scores, Bubble? says: hope he e-mails that wanker

Superted says: bastard

The below convo involves me and my mate, Michael from the Fans page, posing as boyfriend and girlfriend, with me being the girlfriend. The other guy, Dave, as seen in the People that Suck page, ended up thinking that he had successfully managed to spilt us up.

Rebecca says:
twat

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
slag!

Rebecca says:
leave my bf alone

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
hes a fuckin pussy

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
make me!

Rebecca says:
u don't know him

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
i dont know u but i still fuked ya

Rebecca says:
u r probably a virgin

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
SO IS YA MOM

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
AND YA BF

Rebecca says:
impossible

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
BUT I DONT BLAME HIM CUZ WHOD SHAG U

Rebecca says:
u don't know me

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
GOOD IM GLAD

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
I DONT KNOW YA BF BUT I STILL RIP DA PISS

Rebecca says:
I will show u my pic if u want

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
GO 4 IT

Rebecca says:
hang on, I'll send it

I send a picture of a fat "minger"

Waiting for Dave Linzie 4 eva to accept the file "me.jpg" (30 Kb, less than 1 minute with a 28.8 modem). Please wait for a response or Cancel (Alt+Q) the file transfer.

Transfer of file "me.jpg" has been accepted by Dave Linzie 4 eva . Starting transfer...

Transfer of "me.jpg" is complete.

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
THATS A FUCKIN SIGHT 4 SORE EYES

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
OMG THAQT IS THE FUNNIEST THING I VE SEEN ALL YR

Rebecca says:
I am not ashamed

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
NEITHER AM I

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
IM JUS PISSIN MESEN LAFFIN

Rebecca says:
I'll try to find my bf's pic

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
THIS SHUD B FUNNY

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
U FAT MINGER U ON MINGERS.COM COZ I SWEAR THATS WGERE I SAW U

I send a pic of a "minger"

Waiting for Dave Linzie 4 eva to accept the file "Michael.jpg" (12 Kb, less than 1 minute with a 28.8 modem). Please wait for a response or Cancel (Alt+Q) the file transfer.

Transfer of file "Michael.jpg" has been accepted by Dave Linzie 4 eva . Starting transfer...

Transfer of "Michael.jpg" is complete.

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
HES A UCKIN GOON R U BLIND

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
THEN AGAIN THATS BOUT THE BEST U CUD DO

Rebecca says:
he is lovely, and here he comes...

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure has been added to the conversation.

Rebecca says:
Hi, sexy x x x

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
hi darling xxxxx

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
LMAO

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
THEM PICS r u?

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
u sent them my pic?!

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
LMAO

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
SHE SENT 1 OF THIS GOON

Rebecca says:
no!!!!

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
i am most certainly not a goon

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
U MAKE ME LAF GOON

I message Dave separately, and tell him not to send my bf the pic I sent him of him, in pm. This is a plot to ensure that he believes the pic is really my bf, through deliberately causing him to send Michael the pic, and telling him to say it's him and act angry at me sending it - which works, and Dave sends Michael the pic of "him". "I" am not aware of this.

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
OK

Rebecca says:
?

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
LMAO

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
MU HA HA HA HA

Rebecca says:
what?

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
ITS DUN ISE SENT HIM IT

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
yeah

Rebecca says:
Mike? Sorry

Rebecca says:
he called u a goon!

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
who did?

Rebecca says:
him!

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
u goon

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
thankyou ladyboy

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
goon

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
why u being so mean

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
u a goon and ure gf a fat thing

Rebecca says:
shut it!!!!

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
shutup fat ass

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
oi

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
and u goony

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
and you dave

Rebecca says:
hate u!

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
good

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
calm down sweetheart

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
lmao

Rebecca says:
I love u

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
dont u mean calm down lard arse]

Rebecca says:
please say u love me

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
but why did u send mr illiteracy my pic?

Rebecca says:
'cause I am proud of u, like u're proud of me

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
but u shudn't have sent that pic

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
Rebecca says:
Dave i love u really and i want u to see just how ugly he really is

Rebecca says:
i never said that!!!!!

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
did u say that?

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
tut tut tut rebecca

Rebecca says:
no!!!

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
u shouldnt have

Rebecca says:
i never!

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
i thought u loved that goon!

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
i didn't think u were that shallow

Rebecca says:
I'm not!

Rebecca says:
he is a wanker!!!!!!!!

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
shut up dave u imbecile

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
obviously

Rebecca says:
batter him!

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
but thats no excuse

Rebecca says:
my bf's a boxer, so shut up!!!!!!!

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
HA HA HA so is my dog

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
don't tell them that an all

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
fuck sake rebecca

Around now, I message Michael and tell him to "dump" me in the near future

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
Rebecca says:
Please don't tell him anything else. All i want 2 do is get rid of him and be with you Dave.

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
rebecca

Rebecca says:
liar!

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
did u say that?????

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
i swear she did

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
you cow. I'd understand if Dave was even remotely intelligent, but....

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
this is a fucking embarrassment

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
brb need a fag

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
you r a fag

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
well ure gf is afta me so i cant b that bad!

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
believe me u r

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
Rebecca says:
Dave stop telling him because he will end up getting really mad and i don't want that

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
goon!even ure gf dont want u

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
u retard!

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
y did u slag me off to him

Rebecca says:
I never!

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
how the fuck could u

Rebecca says:
don't believe him, please

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
you 2 timing bitch

Rebecca says:
no!!!!!!!!!

Rebecca says:
I would never cheat on you, you're sexy and nice and all I could ask for

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
i thought u were nice as well

Rebecca says:
I am!

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
how wrong can a guy be

Rebecca says:
I am upset now....as wrong as Dave's mum was when she chose NOT to have Dave aborted!

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
how d'you think i feel, bitch

Rebecca says:
I love u. It hurts to hear you call me a bitch

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
to learn that u fancy some muppet called Dave

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
muppet!

I am also in another convo with Dave, begging him to stop lying, in an attempt to add realism to the situation. However, Dave doesn't even admit he's lying, even without "my boyfriend" being there

Rebecca says:
he's even trying to convince ME I said those things

Rebecca says:
he fancies me, but fuck him!

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
y would i want 2???i have a gf

Rebecca says:
Dave, Mike is twice the man u r!

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
your gf = your right hand?

Rebecca says:
lol! U r soo funny, darling

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
ure gf = a 2 timin *****

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
have u fucked 'Dave'? You'd better be honest with me

Rebecca says:
no!!!!!!!

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
hmmmm

Rebecca says:
Dave has been trying it on with me for ages, but I always say no, because I am so in love with you

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
then y all those things, they suggest a different picture

Rebecca says:
I didn't say them, he's lying!

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
no u r a cheating bitch

Rebecca says:
no!!!!

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
in fact i think we should split

Typing gets fast and furious, here

Rebecca says:
no!!!!!!!!!

Rebecca says:
please

Rebecca says:
I love you

Rebecca says:
please

Rebecca says:
x x x x x x x

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
we're finished

Rebecca says:
it's lies!!!!

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
bitch

Rebecca says:
no!!!!!!

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
you & dave deserve each other

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure has left the conversation.

Rebecca says:
u wanker!!!!!!!!

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
haha!!!!!

Rebecca says:
he's gone!!!!!!!!

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
ure the 1 who chatted me up

Rebecca says:
he won't talk to me! He's dumped me

Rebecca says:
r u happy!!!!!

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
ure fault..and yes

Rebecca says:
what the fuck!!!! Why try to tell me I said that when I know I didn't

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
Rebecca says:
Dave i love u i just want u to be with me

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
see!!!

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
nope, ure a 2 timin ugly fat cow and i wouldnt go wit u if u were the last livin thing on earth

Rebecca says:
u have split up me and my bf, I am crying, you bastard

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
u jus cant take the truth

Rebecca says:
u r a stupid kid!

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
im 17

Rebecca says:
I would not look at u twice!

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
i wouldnt look at u once neva mind twice

Rebecca says:
u r a wanker, he's blocked and deleted me!

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
yup

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
go 2 bed and cry u daft sod

Rebecca says:
you've caused all this trouble, it's up to YOU to sort it out

Rebecca says:
e-mail him and tell him it's lies

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
nope

Rebecca says:
if u can't get me back together with him, you've got to go out with me yourself

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
i wills ee wot me gf has 2 say

Rebecca says:
invite her, to prove you have one

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
shes at my house

Rebecca says:
U?! An offline gf? Ha! Has she seen this?

Rebecca says:
dump her, go out with me!!!! Or get us back together!!!!

Rebecca says:
what's ur gf's email address then? If she exists

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
she dont go online cuz she livs wit me

Rebecca says:
I could live with you instead

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
u could but the house aint big enuf

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
fat ass!

Rebecca says:
wanker!!!!

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
yep

Rebecca says:
u don't wank, u don't have a magnifying glass and tweezers

At around this point, I tell Michael to come back and break it to him that the pics aren't real

Rebecca says:
he's back!!!!! Don't go spreading any crap now

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure has been added to the conversation.

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
i looked in the mirror and the pic isn't me after all

Rebecca says:
come to think of it..mine isn't, either!

Rebecca says:
u know, mine's the wrong sex....

Rebecca says:
phew!

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
that was lucky

Rebecca says:
gullible twat!!!!

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
and what's more, we aren't even going out together

Rebecca says:
yet...

Rebecca says:
man, you are not only gullible, but thorougly evil

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
yup

Rebecca says:
my site's visitors will see this

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
heh

Rebecca says:
I'll tell them not to e-mail u abuse, but I can't make any promises....

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
heh

Rebecca says:
anyway, go and wank over the fat minger

Dave Linzie 4 eva says:
already have

Rebecca says:
good old http://www.uglypeople.com

Rebecca says:
I have the e-mail addresses of the ppl whose pics they are, I'll tell them you're interested.....

Dave Linzie 4 eva has left the conversation

Rebecca says:
Mike, any chance of anymore of that hot sex we had earlier?

Nature's Lukewarm Pleasure says:
coming rightup

Rebecca says:
yay!!!!!!!!!!

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